You don't have to read it, Han. It's just a standard letter of recommendation.
Don't be a bitch. Just sign it.
I'm not comfortable putting my name on a document I haven't read.
I understand, but don't be a bitch. Just sign it.
"Max's homemade cupcakes is an up-and-coming powerhouse business."
I can't sign this. This has more lies than my Okcupid profile.
Don't be a bitch. Just sign it. That one's on me, girls.
If I sign this, it's lying. I could get deported.
And I'm one home inspection away from a poodle adoption.
A poodle? That's cool. You can share sweaters.
Hurry up, bitch. The deadline to mail that is tonight.
Well, if you just wanted to steamroll someone,
why didn't you get your boyfriend, Andy, to sign it?
They split. He left last night without a peep.
Damn it, now I'm thinking about those Peeps again.
Oh, I was worried you two wouldn't make it.
You always have your mind on business, and Andy was such an easy spirit.
I think you mean "free spirit."
Easy Spirit is a shoe worn by people whose spirits have died. I have two pairs.
Okay, fine. Give it back. I'll find someone else with a business.
What about Sophie? She owns a small business,
and she loves to give, not as much as she loves to receive.
I'm not so sure Sophie's cleaning business is totally, well, legal.
I mean, when we worked for her, on the memo line of our paycheck, she wrote "Colonoscopy."
And for the record, Sophie's cleaning business is totally legit.
Her organ-trading might not be.
Forget it, Caroline. We might deport you ourselves. All we need is a Fedex box.
Um, Caroline. Come over here. I think I can help you with that.
Thanks, Earl, but you don't have a small business.
The size of my business has never been in question.
And I may not have a business. But... Han Lee does.
Max, look. Earl forged Han's signature.
That's what his signature looks like.
When I forge it, I just draw a picture of Hello Kitty.